Have Faith

"Those who know your name trust in you,
for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you." -Psalms 9:10

I had awaken early this morning, before even the sun had risen, with the thoughts of a dear friend. As I worked through these thoughts and memories some words were spoken to me:

God doesn't promise things won't change, but He does promise that when they do, He will take care of us.

I felt inspired to share these words, so I posted them on Twitter and Facebook, but then I started thinking about faith. I thought it would be a good opportunity to update my blog, so I started searching through the bible for topics on faith. There are lots. After reading through so many I was encouraged yet disheartened; I had no clue where to go from there and almost just stopped there. But I logged in to my blog account anyway and stumbled across a post I had written back on March 25th, 2010. Yeah, over a year and a half before this post. After I wrote the ramblings in that post I had decided not to post it for whatever reason, I was probably scared and frustrated with somethings going on in life. Anyhow here is the post I didn't publish:

I live my life day to day. Some good, many miserable. I wonder why, but I know the answer. I go along, pretending to be fine. Telling everyone I'm fine.

I wonder if I'm truly alive, not because I'm dead but because I'm empty. Or at least feel empty.
I only say this because I was talking to a friend of mine who is feeling similar. I've known this to be the problem for a while, but this is the first I am speaking of it.

I do things to help, don't I? Maybe it isn't enough, or maybe I'm not doing the right things.

I want to rid myself of this feeling. I want to feel full. And I know that I need to do more for God. He can fill me, but I'm afraid to do more, or to change what I'm doing. And even if I decide to do something, what? What would I do?

Well, God has certainly changed my life. I read this and thought, 'This is me?' But it isn't. It WAS me. There will be changes in our lives, constantly and frequently. We can't allow these changes to turn us from God, instead we must have faith in Him to see us through. Let me tell you, I no longer feel that way. I don't feel full exactly, but I do not in the least feel empty anymore.

Faith is something I often struggle with; I have it, but not consistently. I worry, I get stressed out, but things always work out. Maybe not the way I had intended, but they do always seem to work out.

If something is troubling you, if you are worried, stressed, or afraid of something that might be changing, or has already changed, please don't be. Just stop and take a few minutes of your day to pray about it. Maybe write it out like a letter or blog post. Let it sit there for a few weeks before you post it, send it, delete it, or whatever. Just keep praying about it, ask God what He wants for you. Ask Him for help, He will give it to you.

Mission Trip to Bayou La Batre

       This past week the Farragut College Ministry that I am a part of went on a mission trip to Bayou La Batre, Alabama; that's just below Mobile, Al. It was my first mission trip, and I must say probably the best trip I've ever been on. It wasn't tornado relief, although Alabama needs that too(that comes later during the summer). We helped fix up a house that hadn't been lived in for several years; It was really nasty, but looked great when we finished. Also some of us worked around the church and handed out food to a part of the community that needed it. It was truly a great trip and we had fun doing it. I also learned a few things on this trip about myself and the people around me.

       The idea of going on a mission trip is more enticing than actually being on the mission trip for some people. I heard one person with us talking about how he/she was ready to go home(at the end of the first day). This also being one of the people who helped push the whole mission trip to start with. I was very taken aback when I heard this comment, my best explanation for this type of situation is a lack of love for God. Hopefully I'm wrong, but if not then there is some serious work that needs to be done within our group.

        I met this girl who was being trained to pretty much take over the running of their church building. She impressed me with the way she took lead and directed people(college aged and adults) she didn't even know without a second thought. She is 12 years old. I'm not sure I know any other young men or women that could have lead adults so much older with such ease. I don't know exactly what kind of house she comes from, but I know its not the greatest yet she is such an extraordinary and loving young woman. She will do great things.

        Leading has a great deal to do with confidence in both yourself and God; and I can feel and see myself growing in both these areas. I still don't do so well with devotionals, but in private discussions about ourselves, about our group, about our lives I'm noticing myself growing and being able to give and receive advice better. We typically know what is right and wrong, however we often find ourselves on the wrong side of the scale. Excluding people and treating them poorly for any reason isn't a good thing, yet so many of us do it; myself included. This is something we are working on and I can already see a difference which is something I talked to part of our group about. By treating a particular member of our group better, we've noticed an improvement in this person's voice, actions, and general behavior. Be the change you want to see, don't stand around just waiting for it to happen.

         I don't have much of an attention span when it comes to reading. There is a book I've been reading off and on since Christmas, I wasn't even half way through with it when we hit the road Wednesday morning. I can't read on a moving vehicle because I always get sick. So I was looking around and managed to sign up at Audible.com with a 30 day free trial and receive two free audio books that I downloaded to my phone (Irresistible Revolution: Living as an Ordinary Radical, and its sequel, Follow Me to Freedom: Leading as an Ordinary Radical). I finished the first one that I had been reading since Christmas on the way to Bayou La Batre by listening to the rest and started the second one on the way back. Audio books are one of the greatest things I've found.

         Bayou La Batre's living situation has been in a horrible state ever since Katrina, and more recently the BP oil leak which truly destroyed their economy, but on our trip we got to see that things are starting to turn around there and hopefully will continue to. Please keep them (along with the rest of the coast which relies on the gulf for fishing and especially shrimping to make a living) in your prayers and if you ever have an opportunity I highly recommend going down there and actually trying to make a difference.

         I'm not sure what's to come next for them or me, but I believe there are going to be some changes in my personal life both related to topics I've discussed and others that I'm not going to at this point in time. God may have finally provided me something while I was down there that I've been longing for for a long time. Though I'm uncertain if I'm truly ready for it. I need to remember to keep God as my priority. We must always strive to have him as our number 1 relationship.

         Be a blessing in all things you do and through you God will make a great nation.

Roots

It's funny to think about who you are, where you are in life, and HOW you got there. Who influenced you? Who turned you in a small direction that changed your life? How did you meet that person? I'm a Christian, I'm trying to let that rule my life, but I wasn't always. I was once determined that no God existed. Where was the change? Where did I go right?

I think it pretty well starts with two people, Aaron Hinds who made fun of me on the bus in the 5th grade, and was one of my best friends by 7th grade. Brandon Hall who I met in the 7th grade walking from the bus stop to my house (about one or two hundred feet), the key to starting our friendship? Yu-Gi-Oh cards. Yep. He had some out and I was way into it, so I talked to him. Also became one of my best friends.

I can't remember the exact details, but between the two of them I became good friends with Hannah Baker, and Michael Pierce. The four of us had some great times. When freshmen year rolled around we were looking at clubs to join and were greatly into anime, so we wanted to join the anime club, but I was unsure about it because I wasn't sure if my parents would approve of it and let me. Hannah encouraged me to try, what did I have to lose? If they said no, so what? That wouldn't be any different then not trying.Things were on my side and I was able to join the anime club.

This next part, I'm not sure I can explain any way other then an act of God. In anime club I had met a few new friends, and during the summer between freshmen and sophomore year I was invited by Ryan Lain to the absolute best birthday party/weekend I have to this day ever experienced. Which led us to pursue a further friendship. What's so miraculous about this is that although we were friends(and actually met in the 8th grade at lunch), Ryan and I had not spoken that much that in normal circumstances I would be someone to invite on a weekend long trip. To this day we don't know 100% why I was invited, I was just a random name that popped up on her list of invites.

Anyhow, over the next couple of years this led the close friendship of Ryan and I(and her family that I now call my own; Dorian, Kym, Kaleigh you are definitely a part of my family.) and led the key point of change in my life. One random Wednesday, during spring, after school I was invited to attend the youth group at Farragut Church of Christ. For the first time in my life I had willingly gone to church. Here started meeting a number of people, including the Wilkins(who are also my family). After school had ended I had no clue what the etiquette was of when seniors were "kicked out" of the youth group so I stopped attending around graduation time. Judah Wilkins got a hold of my phone number somehow and we went to Starbucks, talked about whatever, and went on our ways. Over the next few months he pressured me a bit into attending church, so in September of 2008 I stopped working on Sundays and started attending the church where my life would truly become something else. And on April 8th, 2009 I solidified my new world and was baptized.

To all the people I met along the way, everyone who helped in some small or large fashion to form the person I have become, I thank you from the bottom of my heart, I love you more dearly then you may ever know. Even if you weren't mentioned here, you have made an important impact in my life.


So how about you? What are your roots? Where do you come from? Would you still be you if you had met different people? I know I would not. If my parents had not come to Tennessee, to Knoxville, I have no clue who I would be.